standvastig: (Eagle in a snowstorm)
Hendrik ([personal profile] standvastig) wrote2021-02-07 08:57 pm
Entry tags:

Abraxas Inbox

Should any wish to communicate, the opportunity is open. The door has yet to close.
leitstern: (Default)

2/9; afternoon

[personal profile] leitstern 2022-02-09 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
[Jasper fills his morning with disciplined study; buried amongst a collection of books purloined from the library. Scrutiny turns away from unfamiliar faces towards words upon a page. Strangers who know nothing of his crimes and choose to say hello. He peeks and peers at every man around but departs with finger twining his hair.

New connections. Old desires. He holds his breath as though hoping today he can wish for friends again. He meanders through corridors and seeks solitude in a nearby courtyard - shielding his eyes as he emerges into a familiar garden. A hothouse filled with crimson camellias climbing up trellises and walls. He looks towards the glass skylight through which beats the sun.

Then he looks towards the other man enjoys the sights and smells. Oh.

His lips twitch but his face is neither unpleasant nor welcoming. Thoughts churn with conflicting emotions and though he wants to flee his feelings root him to the spot.]
leitstern: (Certain)

[personal profile] leitstern 2022-02-09 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
[Apathetic. Hendrik's voice withers on the proverbial vine - wilting his expression as he worries about appropriate ways to act in this new kingdom. He cannot fit amongst human society as his old friend might. The divide only seems to extend mile by mile with every hour.

He does not speak for a moment. One hand slides under his fringe and twines his hair around his fingers. What can he say?]


Indulging in the peace?

[It is hard to rest with the weight of the world upon your shoulders. But he is the cause of this frustration.]
leitstern: (Default)

[personal profile] leitstern 2022-02-09 05:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[Jasper stands in silence; like his peers enduring punishment from their instructor for neglecting their studies. He possesses no evidence of which man lived or died after the fall of their kingdom. There is no means of understanding. His eyes scrunch together with his brow as he looks towards the past.

Painful. Unbearable. He looks towards the future and returns to his senses.]


Rest is the least you deserve, I suppose.
leitstern: (Liberation)

[personal profile] leitstern 2022-02-09 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Hardly. I was crossing through to my quarters.

[The lie leaves his lips without hesitation. He keeps his eyes closed to avoid a stern expression - as he imagines it - and inhales the floral scent of the garden. Indulging in a moment where there is no doubt or conflict.]

I did not expect to find you here.

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leitstern: (Preoccupied)

2/12; evening

[personal profile] leitstern 2022-02-11 10:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Three days is all Jasper needs to find his silence unbearable. It was inevitable that Hendrik would look frustrated; disgruntled and disaffected by the conceit of a man he no longer understands. He spends his evenings taking supper in the dining hall, watching his old friend eat alone at a separate table.

Three times he observes his only companion in this place. Shoulders bent forward, a bewildered gaze. The sight stings his senses - and he lifts his plate from the table to head over to this man he knows better than himself. He stands behind him with nothing to say for a moment. His eyes close in thought as his fingers flex against his serving of casserole.

Upon reflection, he understands disappointment. The way his mind instantly turns towards offering his hand during the knighting ceremony to celebrate his promotion. There is a certain fear Hendrik feels the same pain. Isolated and alone, wounded by the misery of rejection. His thoughts start breaking down and he embraces the chance to make amends.]


Hendrik. Might I sit beside you?
leitstern: (Hankering)

[personal profile] leitstern 2022-02-11 06:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[Eyes narrow and brows furrow. Jasper tucks his chin against his chest, his gaze dropping to dart across the table. It is discomforting and strange to be sitting beside his old friend at a table, taking the opportunity to behave like they had when they were young. The only solution to his fear is to tell himself people here care nothing for what he wrought. It is true the only man aware of his crimes is willing to talk and permit him a seat at his side.

But he is hardly sitting, is he? The slow, measured way he slides his plate onto the table is the first sign of his caution. Fingers clench and stretch. He scrunches his nose in discomfort before moving them onto his lap.]


You hardly mind?
leitstern: (Lonely)

[personal profile] leitstern 2022-02-11 08:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[Jasper settles into his seat and slides his spoon into his stew. His burdens are set aside while he ingestes rich beef stock with peas and potato. The burden of confession is drowned and carried away with flavour and a feeling of fullness. Emptiness lightened by the company he keeps much as what he eats.

Hendrik makes eating look simple. He speaks like words are painless and acts like living is a breeze. But he knows now not to believe that delusion.]


To express my regrets.

[To apologise for the other night.]

It was the wrong decision to reject your solemn expression of kindness.

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leitstern: (Reluctance)

3/8; afternoon

[personal profile] leitstern 2022-03-15 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
[Jasper closes his eyes for a moment to better focus on his breathing. His mood is oddly peaceful, nerves still and calm as lips curl in annoyance. Brows twitch slightly in distress before his fingers claim and clasp those of his colleague. There is no situation more strange or puzzling than guiding his old enemy. His childhood friend who had sustained him throughout the years.

Thumbs brush across knuckles and fingers. One awkward moment sees him hoping they might reconcile. For a short flash, his heart beats with spirit and passion, that old familiar affection - but it vanishes in a second. The world is changing before his eyes. Stone walls and woven tapestries are replaced by blue skies, corridors by golden fields of wheat. Ocean waves crash against cliffs. It is a sound that makes him nostalgic.

Not that he particularily enjoys nostalgia.

The joys of home offer little comfort, much less provide shelter. His memories are lifeless and bleak, black as the nails curled around Hendrik's hands.]
leitstern: (Crestfallen)

[personal profile] leitstern 2022-03-15 09:39 am (UTC)(link)
[The greeting passes with an awkward silence. Ten long seconds of secrecy and stillness, followed by the shifting eyes of a man doubting the sight before them. It obviously matters to his old friend that there is somebody visiting him in his dream.

Though he wonders whether that guest is human. His skin is pale as moonlight and his eyes an unnatural red. Hendrik had always liked the colour of his hair; now it attracts the eye because its ashen colour clashes against the golden fields of wheat. The dark energy streaming off his body is the most disconerting sight of all. His face darkens with a frown - a dispassionate expression that hides his curiosity.

Lips thin. Eyes narrow. Lips open and he begins talking.]


Greetings.

[He glances around the fields.]

Wonderful day is it not?
leitstern: (Animosity)

[personal profile] leitstern 2022-03-15 10:48 am (UTC)(link)
[Jasper directs his gaze upon Hendrik. It takes a moment for him to realise what his old friend is asking - and he can barely protest how wrong he is. His tongue rolls around his mouth in confusion. Fingers stretch and clench - hiding his black nails within his palm - and his eyes narrow in intense focus.

He hardly knows if Hendrik is curious or content to play along with him. The simple word is a shock to his nerves and it takes a good while before he can respond.]


No? I dare say I am confused on why you mistake me as anything of the sort.

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leitstern: (Reluctance)

4/22

[personal profile] leitstern 2022-04-22 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[Three days of exploring plays and images, memories of friends and strangers alike, sees Jasper with nothing else to enjoy but work. He learns off mages in the morning and reads tomes in the afternoon, his evenings free to eat and sleep. Does he dream of happier times come the night? Perhaps once or twice. The hope and optimism people enjoy is often lost. Half the time he wakes in a cold sweat, twisting and turning around, always hiding his nightmares behind his reserved character.

Five days in and he deviates from his regular patterns. Self conscious of his boredom, he arranges to meet Hendrik in his domain. He strides towards the portal and awaits him there, between two demonic statues that guard the end of the span. He is grateful to see his old friend on the dot, as he feels he cannot do this alone.]


Hendrik. It is good to see you.
leitstern: (Zeal)

[personal profile] leitstern 2022-04-22 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[Jasper handles the threat of Hendrik seeing his memories with ease - by trusting him to keep his secrets private. The man is steadfast and loyal to a fault. Should he admit his old friend inspires him? It might bolster his ego. Thank him? It might wound his pride. It feels awkward to do neither so he inhales deeply, preparing himself to share feelings without losing his temper.]

Yes. For once in my life I have chosen to listen to what you say. This place is miserable. Due for a change, I suppose.

[His nose wrinkles. It feels wrong to scrub this place from his memory, to deny the burden of his decisions. Moreso it is morally wrong.]

Only I hardly know where to start. I would rather build upon all I wrought than deny it entire. I - Really, you are welcome to help me.

[He speaks confidently, like he needs no help, but it is a request for help regardless.]
leitstern: (Crestfallen)

[personal profile] leitstern 2022-04-23 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
[The more his old friend looks around, the more intense his gaze. He feels his lips twitch in impatience but at least their developing relationship sees him hold his tongue in respect.]

Obviously not. Need I remind you who designed the armour we wore?

[His eyes narrow in focused thought. It seems he needs to be clear.]

I am asking for your support, Hendrik. I dare say I would even welcome your company.

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