standvastig | Abraxas Inbox

[The extended hand is hard to miss.

It isn't the first time that Jasper has reached out like this, leaving him to respond in kind and clasp it. Not for the first time, he wonders what it means to the other man to do this -- to reach out, when he had stopped doing so for years and years.

He also finds himself thinking much more recent thoughts, about how touch has become something to be wary about. And he has to shut down that thought, remembering that they are already in the Horizon, where memories could assault them freely if they wished.

So he reaches out and takes Jasper's hand.]

Hm. I just remembered something.

[The claim on his hand results in a gentle squeeze - slender fingers curling around broad as he expresses contentment. He walks through their better times in his head, spending little more than seconds, memories coming at once.

It all feels like a new lease on life. He almost forgets the ghostly colour of his skin, the obsidian shade of his nails. His tone of voice is ligth and curious.]

What exactly?

[Now that he's brought up that he's remembered something, Hendrik wonders if it's worth bringing up. Weren't they supposed to be moving away from lingering on the past? But perhaps that's why this memory bears worth mentioning.]

I saw it awhile ago, but it never seemed like a good time to bring it up. There was a memory of you, with your mare.

[He ensures that he has a firm hold on Jasper's hand, lest he try to withdraw while he talks.]

You were letting her loose.

[Hendrik and his observations. Jasper twists his hand but finds it held so tightly that he feels grateful to the man for keeping him grounded. His abandonment of his horse had been despicable, his old self would have thought. But he had made the choice out of charity. It seemed a small part of him had remained human - the same that had clung to his pendant.]

It would not matter had she lived or died, I was not about to kill an animal.

[It was a merciful act. That is still one thing he cannot understand.]

She carried you faithfully for years. You could not forget that.

[That's how he chooses to interpret Jasper's act. Whether or not it rings true to Jasper is something else entirely.]

I will not try to ... overthink your decision there. The fact of the matter is that you let her loose around the time monsters poured into Heliodor.

[Much like with Dundrasil and Zwaardsrust before it, Heliodor fell very quickly. Horrifyingly so. And then came the blanket of darkness and the undead army.]

I mention it now because I wondered. Wondered how she had survived.

[Jasper is silent; listening to Hendrik speak while wiping irritating sweat off his brow. His observation obviously rings true in some fashion.]

She had become a faithful companion over yourself in my eyes.

[His voice lacks bitterness. Being understood has soothed old wounds and he finds himself offering Hendrik that same understanding.]

I wish I could say different but so be it.

[Hendrik shakes his head slowly, looking off to the sky dotted with clouds.]

No, I understand perfectly. Perhaps unfortunately. Obsidian became that for me through our trials together.

[He can't even be bitter finding that similarity with Jasper. Despite the hero worship and admiration he inspired in his men, that itself was a barrier in ever finding friends among them once he became a general.]

She was found with Obsidian. Despite everything, they arrived at the Last Bastion together.

[There is a flash of emotion behind his eyes. Sadness and regret mixed with relief and the hope of meeting again. The emotions work their way through his arm, tensing nerves and muscles until they work their way into his fingers - which clench hard in reflex and refuse to shake loose.

He has a cracked voice in his throat.

There are no words.]

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