standvastig | Abraxas Inbox

[That suggestive comment prompts him to release his flower. Stem and petals float on the breeze, carried towards the ground, only to be blown by a gust of wind to land at Hendrik's feet. His hand slides down across his mouth and grasps his chin. Then he is dropping it like nothing has happened.]

You have a point.

[And in the corners of his eye, recognition that show his words are honest. He winces in regret, remembering nostalgic afternoons playing in the fields. Climbing trees and sprinting across fields, lounging on grass and rolling down hills.]

[The Heliodor region was somewhat safer in their youth. While there were still monsters around, they were not nearly as plentiful as they were in their adulthood. They could go outside the castle walls and play in relative safety if they did not stray too far from the roads, tromping through fields and splashing into the streams if the weather was forgiving.

He takes a breath.]

They are your thoughts, your memories. No one else should try to change that.

[Even if there will always be questions of what actually happened in those years he was ignorant, he can't force his thoughts and feelings upon Jasper. He truly believes that.]

[Jasper closes his eyes and inhales the fresh scent of spring. It smells wonderful and elevates his spirits. The river mirrors the cerulean sky whilst grass and leaves absorb the sun. He loses his coldness and replaces his lukewarm mood with a contented smile.]

Thank you. It is good we speak properly once more.

[He doesn't exactly know what Jasper is speaking to. Was he answering his own declaration? He doesn't think he's been doing much speaking properly thus far.

But he decides to take his words as a positive. And so he continues speaking his mind.]

It is rather ... quiet, even for any times that I personally remember. There was more life around.

[Words grace the tip of his tongue. Being highlighted makes him shudder internally for a second: nervous and insecure as though this is all a foolish idea. He takes a breath to hold back his emotions and begins looking around the nearby hill. His old friend is enough to ground him in the present. He used to detest their connection. Now he clings to it, glancing towards the other man before turning his attention to the grass.

For the first time in this world, he entertains a dream he might create. He is not overly fond of people and finds his fondness for animals coming to the fore. Eyes twitch at the thought of what might spring out of the overgrowth. There is a slight look of concentration on his face. The situation requires him to focus and analyse, leading him to imagine what he might find amongst the meadows of home. Now, if he listens, he can hear movement in the grass. The way it parts and moves as something prowls right towards him...

Something thumps against his shin. Fangs dig into his calf. Claws shred woolen trousers. One paw clings onto his boots. Eyes widen and his throat croaks: a young great sabercub has attacked his right leg.

Goodness.]

Edited 2022-04-23 08:26 (UTC)

[If not for the fact that Hendrik is still firmly aware that they are in the Horizon, he might have been more alarmed by the sight of the sabrecub appearing out of the grass and pouncing on Jasper's leg. After all, a sabrecub can still be quite dangerous, even if its nature is more towards play than actually killing at its age.

He stares. Tries to make sense of the sight and accompanying sounds. Opens his mouth.]

Ah... Er. Why is something you thought up attacking you?

[He's not exactly wrong in his interpretation.]

[Jasper curls his lip; whether towards old friend or new he cannot say. He can imagine why. Time within his domain is hardly spent in confidence. He hides away and avoids people who want to befriend him. Is the cub an expression of his need for connection or theirs? It begins climbing his leg, threads ripping apart as he is mauled in excitement.

He sighs in frustration - as a parent might with a child - and bends forward to grasp it by the scruff with both hands. It hangs before them, a particularly mischievous expression on it's striped face.]

Obviously it desires my attention! Much like you did at the same age.

[Hendrik leans back a little as Jasper gets a hold on the sabrecub and lifts it away from his torn trousers. The cub is unsurprisingly large, with big paws and wide eyes that were now trying to look up in Jasper's direction.

His attention is snapped away from the monster at that exasperated comment.]

You are comparing me to a sabrecub now?

[Really?]

[The haggard cub struggles and mewls; paws swimming in the air as it hisses and thrashes its tail. He winces and resists the urge to shake the beast, understanding why it complains. Why it attacked him in the first place. Why is nothing he wishes to think about - but Hendrik has spoken about it anyway.]

Only with its inclination to bother me. You are hardly as endearing.

[A cub that is hissing and struggling to free itself. Really.]

[A brow ticks up. A sullen frown appears. Hendrik crosses his arms and takes a small step back, expecting his nose to itch just being in the vicinity of the feline monster.]

Well. I suppose there is life around here now.

[Hopefully it can't somehow stalk out of Jasper's domain and prowl into other areas.]

[His lips twist in a smile at the thought his creativity earned approval, but it is a dropped thought after not too long. He lifts the sabrecub towards him with some effort - cupping it against his chest with sharp pointed claws hitching into his surcoat.]

Gracious, Hendrik. Anybody would think you would approve of nothing more than cows and chickens.

[Not that such things are unexpected of Hendrik. The man has simple tastes.]

I am trying to be a bit more creative than that.

[There is part of Hendrik that understands what Jasper is doing. After all, common monsters were often turned into toys and dolls for children. In fact, he remembers having a slime stuffed toy as a child.

But part of him still fights the idea that the sabrecub won't actually attack either of them.]

Certainly. You can be as creative as you want.

[He's just going to side-eye that sabrecub in the meantime.]

[Jasper cradles the cub with his arms while ignoring its actions, gently applying pressure until it finds comfort and stops wriggling. The actions of a man who craves connection but struggles to find it admist people. Muscles all over relax as he tires of critcising himself. His nerves loosen and he breathes slow - closing his eyes to enjoy the warmth and the light.

Not only from nature but having his old friend nearby. His connections. Perhaps he shall make others if fate permits.]

If you believe so.

[Grass rustles. The presence of other cubs is impossible to ignore. He studies the shifting fields in thought, eyes following the movement as it darts towards the opposite end of the hill. His head turns towards Hendrik after a while, after swallowing his pride.]

Thank you for coming.

[The voice gratitude has Hendrik glancing off to the side awkwardly, unsure why he is being thanked at all.]

I hardly did anything. The thanks feels unnecessary.

[But he shouldn't be dismissing him, either. This hasn't precisely been easy. Even the environment they stand in now evokes feelings that are not simple and digestible.]

You are welcome, though. It is good to see this place ... open up.

I will admit it does one good to gaze upon the sun.

[For all of his propensity for seclusion, it is meaningful and gratifying to see the light. He bristles with confusion in contrasting it against his love of darkness. Thins his lips. Steps across the field and lowers the sabrecub into the grass. It beats a path towards its companions and leaves him alone. Sharp, curious eyes watch them scarper across the fields - towards a pride of large sabrecats lazing in the distance. He chooses to leave them sleeping below the tree and turns towards his companion.]

I did not expect I would do so again.

[Hendrik's eyes follow the sabrecub as it scampers off, slowly widening as he realizes there are more of the monsters in the distance.

The sheer amount of sabrecats out in the distance has Hendrik frowning deeply for a moment before smoothing out into his normal stoic expression. He looks to Jasper, taking in his side profile as he watches the felines.

There is some form of affection there. Something at peace.

With the monsters.]

There will be more time to do so.

[There is still more he is learning about Jasper.]

[The warmth of the sun and the pleasure of watching the pride lulls his mind. He tilts his head to gaze at the sky, twists his neck to look across cliffs and crags, hills and rivers. Nestled in the trees are pigeons and doves - and he watches a sabrecub stare at one.

It makes him hungry. His hand rests upon his stomach and he relaxes in nostalgia.]

Back home, perhaps.

[He tilts his head at Jasper's remark, noting how he puts a hand over his stomach. They did go into the Horizon at a somewhat unusual time, he supposes.]

You are done here already?

[That might come across as a little callous, but that isn't his intent. If he thinks about it, Jasper's basically doubled the size of his domain.]

That was hardly what I...

[He sighs in resignation. It would be best were he to hide his feelings - but how much good had secrecy done them? Thoughts turn towards a possible turn in conversation and his companion. Maybe it would be best were he to speak honestly.]

I was speaking of Erdrea.

[There.]

[Hendrik goes quiet, processing Jasper's honest response in muted surprise. Speaking of Erdrea, of home, has generally been in the past tense for them, and he has been the one speaking to doing things for the future of their world. Of course, Jasper had agreed to be supportive, but...]

Ah.

[Should he smile? There's part of him that is elated, while another is cautiously optimistic. A child's reaction versus that of a more weathered adult.]

Well. The sun will be waiting.

[Jasper falls silent for a long while. He comforts himself in his old friend's presence - an inspiring light that will lead him home.

He offers no smile, no grateful words. Pride prompts him to say nothing but he understands Hendrik well enough that even he might guess how he feels. His lips twitch in signs of happiness. His fingers clench in optimism and he looks over the horizon.

He reaches out with his hand, unconsciously searching for another.]

I know.

[The extended hand is hard to miss.

It isn't the first time that Jasper has reached out like this, leaving him to respond in kind and clasp it. Not for the first time, he wonders what it means to the other man to do this -- to reach out, when he had stopped doing so for years and years.

He also finds himself thinking much more recent thoughts, about how touch has become something to be wary about. And he has to shut down that thought, remembering that they are already in the Horizon, where memories could assault them freely if they wished.

So he reaches out and takes Jasper's hand.]

Hm. I just remembered something.

[The claim on his hand results in a gentle squeeze - slender fingers curling around broad as he expresses contentment. He walks through their better times in his head, spending little more than seconds, memories coming at once.

It all feels like a new lease on life. He almost forgets the ghostly colour of his skin, the obsidian shade of his nails. His tone of voice is ligth and curious.]

What exactly?

[Now that he's brought up that he's remembered something, Hendrik wonders if it's worth bringing up. Weren't they supposed to be moving away from lingering on the past? But perhaps that's why this memory bears worth mentioning.]

I saw it awhile ago, but it never seemed like a good time to bring it up. There was a memory of you, with your mare.

[He ensures that he has a firm hold on Jasper's hand, lest he try to withdraw while he talks.]

You were letting her loose.

[Hendrik and his observations. Jasper twists his hand but finds it held so tightly that he feels grateful to the man for keeping him grounded. His abandonment of his horse had been despicable, his old self would have thought. But he had made the choice out of charity. It seemed a small part of him had remained human - the same that had clung to his pendant.]

It would not matter had she lived or died, I was not about to kill an animal.

[It was a merciful act. That is still one thing he cannot understand.]

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