standvastig | Abraxas Inbox

[Three days of exploring plays and images, memories of friends and strangers alike, sees Jasper with nothing else to enjoy but work. He learns off mages in the morning and reads tomes in the afternoon, his evenings free to eat and sleep. Does he dream of happier times come the night? Perhaps once or twice. The hope and optimism people enjoy is often lost. Half the time he wakes in a cold sweat, twisting and turning around, always hiding his nightmares behind his reserved character.

Five days in and he deviates from his regular patterns. Self conscious of his boredom, he arranges to meet Hendrik in his domain. He strides towards the portal and awaits him there, between two demonic statues that guard the end of the span. He is grateful to see his old friend on the dot, as he feels he cannot do this alone.]

Hendrik. It is good to see you.

Hello, Jasper.

[Even as he settles into the uneasy tolerance he has for Jasper's domain, Hendrik wonders why he is here. After all, personal experience thus far has made it apparent that being in the Horizon can make one unwillingly see someone else's memories, and that is just as unpleasant as the sudden headaches experienced in reality.

But Jasper had asked him to meet, and so here he was.

It's a complicated feeling.]

I take it there was something you wanted to do here.

[Because otherwise they could have just talked in person.]

[Jasper handles the threat of Hendrik seeing his memories with ease - by trusting him to keep his secrets private. The man is steadfast and loyal to a fault. Should he admit his old friend inspires him? It might bolster his ego. Thank him? It might wound his pride. It feels awkward to do neither so he inhales deeply, preparing himself to share feelings without losing his temper.]

Yes. For once in my life I have chosen to listen to what you say. This place is miserable. Due for a change, I suppose.

[His nose wrinkles. It feels wrong to scrub this place from his memory, to deny the burden of his decisions. Moreso it is morally wrong.]

Only I hardly know where to start. I would rather build upon all I wrought than deny it entire. I - Really, you are welcome to help me.

[He speaks confidently, like he needs no help, but it is a request for help regardless.]

[Perhaps unsurprisingly, Jasper's declaration is met with a blank stare from Hendrik. His eyes slowly trail away, back to the bleak and ominous environment around them, before sliding back to this pallid, red-eyed version of his old friend.]

You ... are asking me for designing advice?

[It's all about the interpretation.]

[The more his old friend looks around, the more intense his gaze. He feels his lips twitch in impatience but at least their developing relationship sees him hold his tongue in respect.]

Obviously not. Need I remind you who designed the armour we wore?

[His eyes narrow in focused thought. It seems he needs to be clear.]

I am asking for your support, Hendrik. I dare say I would even welcome your company.

[Oh. Well then. That at least makes a bit more sense.

...Still...

Hendrik frowns and crosses his arms uncomfortably. What is he meant to do? Stand around while Jasper thinks out his surroundings?]

I fail to see how I can be supportive, but if that is what you wish.

[The embarrassed discomfort weedles into his mind with impressions of charm and affection, regarded with a tolerance built up over years. It registers in his thoughts that every display is false, meant to gain his confidence before breaking it. There is a significant pause as he pays attention to his delusions - but he recognises the thoughts as being alien. Seeded by himself, yes, but watered by a monster masquerading as a man.

He begins to speak. His confidence plummets after a second. He wants to open the portal and the fortress gate but cannot decide. One had serviced his master, the other his antechamber. Neither appeal but he swallows his nerves and takes one step, two, three towards the gate. He leans against it with his shoulder but finds the weight remarkable. Does that mean he is reluctant to enter because of some fear? Perhaps.

It takes a while for him to seek support.]

Help me crack this open, would you?

[Hendrik watches quietly as Jasper ponders his domain. He understands that things can change, certainly, but it is still very strange to imagine transforming these current surroundings into something ... different. Like a manifestation of great magical power.

But Jasper's first act is to open the huge doors off to one side of the bridge. That is at least something he can help with. He is soon striding over, bracing himself against the gate and pushing.]

I-- presume these doors do not have to be used often.

[Just guessing based on their size.]

[Jasper heaves his shoulder, grimacing as the gate edges open, his nose and lips twisting in discomfort. Nerves twinge and twitch towards the back of his neck. Shoulders tense - every muscle across his back - and he looks towards where Hendrik is assisting.]

You presume true. The burden fell upon the one responsible enough to work.

[There is nothing pleasant about imagining his master sitting upon his throne, leaving the direction of his army in his hands. It was testament to his skills that he was entrusted with total command. It was also enough to make him envious.

It makes him push and heave. His body works out its frustration until the gate is cracked open enough for him to slip through.

Beyond is not the darkness one expects of an unlit fortress, but the brilliance of sunlight. The star brightens the cerulean sky with a radiance that burns the eyes. He lifts one hands and shields his gaze: spreading fingers apart so he can stare over rolling fields that resemble those of his homeland. For a moment, he stands and listens to the ambient sounds of nature, slow rivers that flow towards the edge of deep cliffs, culminating in the slow, deep rumbling of waterfalls. Grass touches his knees, spotted with spring flowers. The bluffs are dotted with lush trees and the ruins of ancient buildings.

There is an inaudible moment of silence as he looks at the far distance.]

How unflattering.

[And that is all he has to say about Mordegon.

The brightness of this new area is enough to keep Hendrik from commenting for a long moment, adjusting to the very sudden change. The Horizon was a very strange place.

The green fields are highly reminiscent of Heliodor, but also remind him of Dundrasil. It is the mountains that make all the difference, the majority not rising nearly as high as the ones around the Dundrasil and Zwaardsrust regions.

The ancient ruins off in the distance are what fill him with a sense of disquiet. The comparisons snap shut in his mind as he rejects what those ruins might mean.]

[The disquiet on his old friend's face is enough to draw his attention. He turns his gaze back towards the horizon and lets the man finish his thoughts. He then bows his head while swallowing his words, hiding his emotions by shielding his eyes with a hand.

He walks through the grass and looks around before lowering onto a knee. Fingers pick a yellow wildflower and he returns to standing, inhaling its delicate fragrance beneath his nose. Other than these signs of nature and the gentle ebb and flow of the river, there are no signs of life.]

You remember the old ruins in front of the city, do you not?

[Perhaps that old pile of rubble is not what they represent, but in suggesting that is what those stones are he is attempting to be kind.]

[Jasper's question is met with silence from Hendrik. While he doesn't walk very far away, it is clear that he has mixed feelings about this new manifestation that Jasper has made for himself.]

It is nostalgic.

[That's really the kindest thing he can think to say about their surroundings. When he thinks about it more, it becomes more apparent to him this place still lacks ... people. Even the ruins are a sign of people in the past tense. Not the present.]

[That suggestive comment prompts him to release his flower. Stem and petals float on the breeze, carried towards the ground, only to be blown by a gust of wind to land at Hendrik's feet. His hand slides down across his mouth and grasps his chin. Then he is dropping it like nothing has happened.]

You have a point.

[And in the corners of his eye, recognition that show his words are honest. He winces in regret, remembering nostalgic afternoons playing in the fields. Climbing trees and sprinting across fields, lounging on grass and rolling down hills.]

[The Heliodor region was somewhat safer in their youth. While there were still monsters around, they were not nearly as plentiful as they were in their adulthood. They could go outside the castle walls and play in relative safety if they did not stray too far from the roads, tromping through fields and splashing into the streams if the weather was forgiving.

He takes a breath.]

They are your thoughts, your memories. No one else should try to change that.

[Even if there will always be questions of what actually happened in those years he was ignorant, he can't force his thoughts and feelings upon Jasper. He truly believes that.]

[Jasper closes his eyes and inhales the fresh scent of spring. It smells wonderful and elevates his spirits. The river mirrors the cerulean sky whilst grass and leaves absorb the sun. He loses his coldness and replaces his lukewarm mood with a contented smile.]

Thank you. It is good we speak properly once more.

[He doesn't exactly know what Jasper is speaking to. Was he answering his own declaration? He doesn't think he's been doing much speaking properly thus far.

But he decides to take his words as a positive. And so he continues speaking his mind.]

It is rather ... quiet, even for any times that I personally remember. There was more life around.

[Words grace the tip of his tongue. Being highlighted makes him shudder internally for a second: nervous and insecure as though this is all a foolish idea. He takes a breath to hold back his emotions and begins looking around the nearby hill. His old friend is enough to ground him in the present. He used to detest their connection. Now he clings to it, glancing towards the other man before turning his attention to the grass.

For the first time in this world, he entertains a dream he might create. He is not overly fond of people and finds his fondness for animals coming to the fore. Eyes twitch at the thought of what might spring out of the overgrowth. There is a slight look of concentration on his face. The situation requires him to focus and analyse, leading him to imagine what he might find amongst the meadows of home. Now, if he listens, he can hear movement in the grass. The way it parts and moves as something prowls right towards him...

Something thumps against his shin. Fangs dig into his calf. Claws shred woolen trousers. One paw clings onto his boots. Eyes widen and his throat croaks: a young great sabercub has attacked his right leg.

Goodness.]

Edited 2022-04-23 08:26 (UTC)

[If not for the fact that Hendrik is still firmly aware that they are in the Horizon, he might have been more alarmed by the sight of the sabrecub appearing out of the grass and pouncing on Jasper's leg. After all, a sabrecub can still be quite dangerous, even if its nature is more towards play than actually killing at its age.

He stares. Tries to make sense of the sight and accompanying sounds. Opens his mouth.]

Ah... Er. Why is something you thought up attacking you?

[He's not exactly wrong in his interpretation.]

[Jasper curls his lip; whether towards old friend or new he cannot say. He can imagine why. Time within his domain is hardly spent in confidence. He hides away and avoids people who want to befriend him. Is the cub an expression of his need for connection or theirs? It begins climbing his leg, threads ripping apart as he is mauled in excitement.

He sighs in frustration - as a parent might with a child - and bends forward to grasp it by the scruff with both hands. It hangs before them, a particularly mischievous expression on it's striped face.]

Obviously it desires my attention! Much like you did at the same age.

[Hendrik leans back a little as Jasper gets a hold on the sabrecub and lifts it away from his torn trousers. The cub is unsurprisingly large, with big paws and wide eyes that were now trying to look up in Jasper's direction.

His attention is snapped away from the monster at that exasperated comment.]

You are comparing me to a sabrecub now?

[Really?]

[The haggard cub struggles and mewls; paws swimming in the air as it hisses and thrashes its tail. He winces and resists the urge to shake the beast, understanding why it complains. Why it attacked him in the first place. Why is nothing he wishes to think about - but Hendrik has spoken about it anyway.]

Only with its inclination to bother me. You are hardly as endearing.

[A cub that is hissing and struggling to free itself. Really.]

[A brow ticks up. A sullen frown appears. Hendrik crosses his arms and takes a small step back, expecting his nose to itch just being in the vicinity of the feline monster.]

Well. I suppose there is life around here now.

[Hopefully it can't somehow stalk out of Jasper's domain and prowl into other areas.]

[His lips twist in a smile at the thought his creativity earned approval, but it is a dropped thought after not too long. He lifts the sabrecub towards him with some effort - cupping it against his chest with sharp pointed claws hitching into his surcoat.]

Gracious, Hendrik. Anybody would think you would approve of nothing more than cows and chickens.

[Not that such things are unexpected of Hendrik. The man has simple tastes.]

I am trying to be a bit more creative than that.

[There is part of Hendrik that understands what Jasper is doing. After all, common monsters were often turned into toys and dolls for children. In fact, he remembers having a slime stuffed toy as a child.

But part of him still fights the idea that the sabrecub won't actually attack either of them.]

Certainly. You can be as creative as you want.

[He's just going to side-eye that sabrecub in the meantime.]

[Jasper cradles the cub with his arms while ignoring its actions, gently applying pressure until it finds comfort and stops wriggling. The actions of a man who craves connection but struggles to find it admist people. Muscles all over relax as he tires of critcising himself. His nerves loosen and he breathes slow - closing his eyes to enjoy the warmth and the light.

Not only from nature but having his old friend nearby. His connections. Perhaps he shall make others if fate permits.]

If you believe so.

[Grass rustles. The presence of other cubs is impossible to ignore. He studies the shifting fields in thought, eyes following the movement as it darts towards the opposite end of the hill. His head turns towards Hendrik after a while, after swallowing his pride.]

Thank you for coming.

4/22

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject