Isle of Avalon - IC Inbox

[standvastig]

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[leitstern]

It is certainly not in our future, anyway.

[One might dare to dream of them wearing that armour again. One wistful thought before he tells himself it is false hope.]

[standvastig]

You know that and you are looking at that armor anyway.

[He doesn't think he'll ever understand that part of Jasper. The man destroyed his home and kingdom and yet yearns for the symbols of it like they mean anything without that home and kingdom.]

[leitstern]

[What can he say to that? The man is right.]

Are you going to begrudge me some unhappiness, Hendrik?

[standvastig]

You have been bitter and unhappy for so long that I would have thought you tired of it by now.

[leitstern]

I cannot pretend to be offended. I cannot pretend to be content. But really both are neither here nor there. We grew up together but we were not treated alike. I had my wishes ignored and though I understand the reason why I cannot separate my mind from my memories. You should do well to remember that.

[standvastig]

You say that as if I am not reminded every time I look at you.

[leitstern]

What do you want me to say, Hendrik? My wish is you might gaze upon me and see the young man I was but neither of us can turn back time.

[standvastig]

There is nothing to say, Jasper. We both made our decisions, whether or not we were aware of what they truly meant.

[leitstern]

Or whether they were truly ours.

[He knows what His Majesty would advise on this matter, estranged as they are by his decisions.]

[standvastig]

Regardless, it is nothing we can do anything about anymore.

[leitstern]

Am I a fool to hope such might not be the case?

We are living on the edge of the world. Perhaps it is possible.

[standvastig]

[There is a long period in which Hendrik does not reply.]

Perhaps.

[He doesn't know how he feels about that prospect.]

[leitstern]

[His own reply takes a moment. Steering into the start of being unacceptable, steering them towards the end of conversation. It is easier to move on and pretend particular answers never happened.]

Do I buy it, then?

[standvastig]

[He stares at the question, unsure why Jasper is even asking.]

Regardless of what has happened, it is yours, Jasper.

[leitstern]

I find it strange to be buying what belongs to me.

Regardless, we are sure to have room under the stairs, I suppose.

[standvastig]

I have something to put away as well.

[But he doesn't have anything to say to having to buy things.]

[leitstern]

More plants from the garden no doubt?

[standvastig]

No. Something I arrived with.

You will see when you return with your armor.

Next Morning

[leitstern]

[The armour is delivered the next hour. It occupies the entirety of the lounge, lying across the couch and coffee table. Jasper polishes it piece by piece. Each is carefully set aside before he starts work on the next. It takes him the better part of a few hours before he hears footsteps in the hall.

Hendrik is standing behind somewhere, looking down with some emotion he cannot name.]

Yes?

[standvastig]

[Seeing that silver armor is a reminder of things that once were and never would be quite the same again.

It is, perhaps, inconceivably superficial of him to think of Jasper's dulled hair and ashen skin, in comparison to the striking contrast he made with golden hair and silver mail. But that is where his mind wanders, thinking of humanity lost rather than what was retained and regained in this time-frozen world.]

They had all of it?

[leitstern]

Every last piece.

[Jasper turns the pauldron over. Fingers delve into nooks and crannies, polishing the inside of the metal with a small cloth. The air smells of a solution of solvent and oil. It excuses the open window that brings in cold air. He looks at it for an instant. It takes time for him to build up to what he wants to admit.]

Thank you. For telling me to bring it home.

[standvastig]

I did not tell you anything.

[He shakes his head, drawing a little closer and glancing out the open window.]

You already wanted it. I just said it was yours.

[Perhaps that had a lot of meaning to Jasper, but he was just telling the truth. Whether or not Jasper should be wearing that armor ever again was another question entirely.]

[leitstern]

[The comment goes inside one ear and lodges in his thoughts. Memories of being passed over, knowledge he was judged a failure. He shakes his head and frowns at his armour, adjusting his position on the edge of the couch, bringing one leg over the other. His pauldron rests on a rag unfurled over his lap.]

I am a failure to my kingdom and myself. I do not deserve it.

[Yet he sits cleaning it. Perhaps he finds comfort in the motion.]

[standvastig]

I do not see a kingdom here to judge you. It is your decision to keep it.

[Hendrik's voice remains neutral as he goes to the window to assess the weather. He sighs to himself and speaks again.]

If it truly bothered you, you would not be tending to it now.

[leitstern]

[Jasper hardly looks up from his labour. His brow furrows and he polishes firmly in circle. He hardly feels anger but not having the wisdom to understand himself is frustrating; a barrier of sorts.]

I do not throw possessions aside because I find them difficult, Hendrik.

[Only people.]